Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
