when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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