I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
