can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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