It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
