I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
