First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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