We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
