there was a trapeze. enough said
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
