The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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