Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
