Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize
