I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
