If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
