I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
