so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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