Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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