Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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