I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
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On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
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My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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