Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
