she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
