I'm really into asian looking animals
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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