her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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