I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
