i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
