did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
