Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
