i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
