90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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