Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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