im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
