So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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