Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
