I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
