Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize