so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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