I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
