My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
