I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
