when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
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I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
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I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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