Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
