we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
