If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
