mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
