It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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