dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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