"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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