Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize