I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize