we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize