i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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