its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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