Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
