Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Randomize
