I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
