what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
