You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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