Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
