At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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