It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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