Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.