Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'

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  (334): i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified' http://tfl.nu/dnlw
  Replies (51) Good night (2847) Bad night (806)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.

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  (604): I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was. http://tfl.nu/96eh
  Replies (21) Good night (754) Bad night (6151)
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  (559): View more from California

  if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean

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  (559): if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean http://tfl.nu/a5l2
  Replies (5) Good night (865) Bad night (1988)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101

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  (972): My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101 http://tfl.nu/qihv
  Replies (23) Good night (4175) Bad night (589)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.

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  (313): Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you. http://tfl.nu/ll2r
  Replies (39) Good night (815) Bad night (3585)
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  (916): View more from California

  I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule

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  (916): I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule http://tfl.nu/z9ak
  Replies (8) Good night (3954) Bad night (550)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.

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  (847): I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people. http://tfl.nu/av1w
  Replies (16) Good night (1424) Bad night (4396)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.

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  (432): His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex. http://tfl.nu/07s4
  Replies (9) Good night (3517) Bad night (1022)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Not even the dog will look at me anymore.

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  (301): Not even the dog will look at me anymore. http://tfl.nu/6y6q
  Replies (15) Good night (1031) Bad night (4479)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....

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  (303): Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic.... http://tfl.nu/nllq
  Replies (6) Good night (838) Bad night (3354)
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  (707): View more from California

  Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.

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  (707): Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand. http://tfl.nu/dp2x
  Replies (6) Good night (1592) Bad night (528)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.

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  (205): i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets. http://tfl.nu/hykz
  Replies (3) Good night (1120) Bad night (478)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.

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  (512): I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out. http://tfl.nu/qokz
  Replies (4) Good night (832) Bad night (593)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.

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  (469): His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat. http://tfl.nu/3isl
  Replies (5) Good night (288) Bad night (509)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"

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  (408): I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat" http://tfl.nu/81wz
  Replies (0) Good night (484) Bad night (230)

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