Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
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found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
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I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"