so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....