It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.