i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
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I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
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im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now