Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
